Highschool of the Dead

The other week I came across something so awesome that I am now addicted. That awesomeness if none other than Highschool of the Dead! What’s this got to do with gaming? Well not a great deal but I don’t care; there are references so that will do. It has zombies, yes zombies, does it need anything else? Press the magic button and we shall continue this inside [pops kettle on].

Waiting...

Don't you just hate it when you know that something is making its way proudly to you and you are sat at the door waiting like a small boy waiting for a new toy?

That’s exactly what I am currently doing! It doesn’t matter that I am getting Mafia 2 free, courtesy of 2K Games. I want the game now; it should have been here yesterday! It doesn’t matter that it was only sent out yesterday either. It should have been here immediately.

Look, see, no bleeding postman

Now my strange attitude will probably explain why people go out and buy games in a shop without thinking about getting things cheaper. I can say that I have been guilty of this in the past. Now I like to shop about more, get more for my money.

What’s even more amusing is that I am sat near the window with the blinds open practically looking down the street for sight of a man that probably won’t have the bleeding thing in the first place.

I keep thinking that if I didn’t know it was coming then I wouldn’t be doing this, then I keep thinking that I would just find some other excuse to wait impatiently by the window, waiting to give the postman a piece of my mind, even though he comes at the same time (1pm) every day.

Do you guys do this? Do you sit waiting just in case you have to sign?

Twisted, Open Storytelling of Alan Wake

Last week was a good week as I finally got to play Alan Wake, which I had wanted to play since it came out. Having a rental account has its perks and when Lovefilm decided that they would send me it, I was happy as a pig in muck. Sticking in the game I started to play and throughout the entire game, it got me thinking. Is this game pure genius? Or is it a tragic waste of five years?

I will give you fair warning, there are some spoilers.

Borderlands: What I’d like in a sequel

One of the best games to come out of 2009 was Gearbox Software's Borderlands. This game has everything. It has class, it has replay value and it has so many different varieties of weapons that you can easily see why millions of people have been playing it all over the world. It’s been nearly a year since I bought two copies of the game for me and my girlfriend and set out on the epic mission of killing everything that dared to attack us as we traversed the world of Pandora. After several conversations with Andy C, we started to pull apart this masterpiece, not only praising Gearbox for successfully mashing together various different elements into the game, but finding ways that if we were the developers, we would improve it for the next game.

At this point I figured what the hell; maybe I should write this stuff down and see what the rest of the world thinks.

Review: Nier

I must say, when I got Nier through the post, I hadn’t really heard a great deal about it. All I knew was that it had been developed by Cavia and published by Square Enix, which wasn’t a great deal of information. I had heard things from people saying it was a one button affair and that it didn’t look anything special, but it didn’t put me off, after all, I have to formulate my own opinion don't I?

After putting the game in the tray I was greeted by an audio only monologue from a woman that seemed to be talking to a character called Weiss. I say talking. I mean shouting abuse and profanity at him in a comical yet erm… enthusiastic way. This was before I had even started the game. Hell, I hadn't even pressed start and new game, and I couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of the story was going to be as colourful. That said, I got the show on the road to find out if this game was worth shelling out for.

My gaming dry spell

It happens to every gamer and some point in time. Sometimes more than just the once. It's what I like to call the 'dry spell', where you pop a game in the console, start to play and promptly turn it right back off again. The will to play any game has completely disappeared and it doesn't matter what game is in the console, it could even be the newest game on the market that you have been waiting since forever for, it's like eating a really nice looking meal but one that tastes of nothing but sawdust.

The other week I had the chance to play a game that I had been awaiting since Eurogamer Expo last year in Aliens vs. Predator. It may not be a game of the year candidate but it was still one I wanted to play. Into the console I popped the disc and within ten minutes I wanted to play something else. I popped in another game and the same thing happened. Twenty two titles later it dawned on me, I hit a dry spell.

If this has happened to you before then you will know where I'm coming from, if not then you best expect one at some point in your gaming life. Either way, I suggest you read on.

Review: Earthworm Jim HD

1994 was a bad year. Fred West's house was excavated, Kurt Cobain killed himself and Ayrton Senna was killed during an accident at the San Marino Grand Prix. In fact if you look at all of that year you will see that there was probably little to celebrate. Saying that, one thing that was definitely worth celebrating about was the release of Shiny Entertainment's Earthworm Jim. This side-scrolling platform game had everything; class, charm and style and was well received around the world.

Some of you reading this will probably think I have gone mad, and want to know what's so interesting about an earthworm. Well the simple answer is this, Earthworm Jim raised the bar in games. It was praised heavily upon release, with Gamesmaster magazine gave it a whopping score of 100% (it was the first time they had awarded a game 100%) and one of the few classics that has been remade several times over the years. Speaking of remakes, the latest incarnation has been brought forward to XBLA and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. After all, what could be better than playing a classic in HD.

Sex in games: Where to draw the line

Sex in video games has always been taboo. It starts with a developer adding something to a game that people deem inappropriate, like a having sex with a prostitute in GTA, to being something more risqué like a topless character in Heavy Rain. Nine times out of ten these scenes or gameplay extras never usually make the final cut of the game due to the classification board not allowing them to be kept in.

Not so long ago, a major uproar occurred with a game called Rapelay, this game not only glorified sex, but glorified rape and incest, in what the majority of the world deemed socially unacceptable. Rape is something that has affected millions of women and men, and content like this can offend a lot of people. Jumping on the band wagon of hatred against the game news-desks around the world reported on the issue, only serving to further publicise the game. As the old saying goes, there is no such thing as bad press!

Motion control, losing control

As a gamer I like to sit back, relax while playing a game and make as little movement as possible! It’s not that I’m lazy or anything like that, but to me gaming is supposed to be a time for me to wind down, not getting wound up at frustrating controls or waving my arms around like a retarded chicken. Maybe with an attitude like that you may think I weigh in at a weight of twenty stone and counting with every slice of pizza, cream cake and beer that I consume. You couldn’t be more wrong, I would say I look athletic, but I don’t think you can classify an eleven stone empty wetsuit as athletic.

Why are console developers intent on trying to get us off our backsides by providing us with the bad idea that is motion control? Why are the big three always trying to make the “supposed” best gaming experience possible one where their only actual aim is to compete with the other manufacturers. Why do we have to complicate gaming even more than it already is? Is this something that we are as gamers are pushing for or are we being manipulated by the egos of our console manufacturer?

Now I know what you’re thinking; what could be possibly wrong with motion control in gaming?

Cliffy B, we love you, but...

In a recent interview on IGN, Cliff Bleszinski talked about the future of gaming and the Gears of War franchise. In the interview he expressed his support for motion controllers like  ‘Project Natal’ stating that he was preferring that over the other motion controllers, purely because you don’t need to hold anything in your hands. Cliffy B also talked about how he wanted Gears 2 to be a better experience when it was released, and that the issues with the online matchmaking was the single biggest disappointment for him and when it gets brought up it breaks his heart. He also stated that when he reads posts on online forums it hurt him how people identify with the big, buff characters and how there is a lot to be said for the background of the world he'd created.

One of the biggest statements that he made was that he has a Google alert for anything with ‘Gears of War’ in it and that he and the team read as much as they can so they call get the feedback, this includes forums posts too. What better way to test this statement by giving the TIMJ view on what should be considered next for Gears of War.

Ok, so this may be a long shot but here is hoping the powers the be make this article pop up on Cliffy B’s alert box so he can become a friend of TIMJ, and possibly comment on my thoughts.

Review: Final Fantasy XIII

Way back in 1997 a game was released that would forever be heralded as one of the best games of all time. It had an epic storyline, one that is still gripping people to this day. The game was Final Fantasy VII. Now, I know that the seventh game in the series wasn’t the starting point for the franchise, but it was easily the most recognised throughout the world, especially in the Western market. Previous titles had really only appealed to the Japanese market and Final Fantasy VII was the turning point. Since that time, people have always anticipated the next Final Fantasy game, hoping for another character that would capture them like Cloud Strife did all those years ago.

Back in 2006 Square Enix gave us a teaser of the next game they were working on, this was to be Final Fantasy XIII (13). Before long, a few snippets of information were released, but what caused more of a stir with the fans was that it was to be released on both the Xbox 360 and the PS3. This bit of news made some fans happy while the remainder felt alienated and let down by Square, due to them thinking that it had always been a Sony exclusive (it really wasn’t). Fast forward a little more and finally fans can get their copies and experience the game that they have awaited so long for, to see if it lived up to the hype. Across the board there has been mixed opinions, some good, some bad but the question still remains for some: Is Final Fantasy XIII a good game?

Review: Borderlands

Anyone who has been reading my twitter updates probably has a good idea how this review is going to go. Three years ago Gearbox Software gave us a teaser of a new game they were working on.

The video depicted a woman talking to you (the player). At certain points as the camera panned around, you had flashes of some human enemies dubbed ’the locals’, then of some of the animal enemies referred to as ’the wildlife’. One of the flashes tells you you’re going to need guns, lots of guns, showing you a room full of weapons. Finally the camera panned further so that you can see her face; this woman was heavily scarred down one half of her face. She then tells you she knows why you’re there and that you’re looking for the vault (cue a reverse plot of Fallout 3), she finally adds that you won't find it because it doesn’t exist.

The game has seen a massive transformation in style since that teaser was released, now re-branded as an 'RPS' (Role playing shooter), the consistent selling point for me at the time was the huge number of guns the game was boasting, which more often than not something that is restricted in games. Borderlands is finally here with claims that it features ‘87 bazillion guns’. Maybe that’s a slight over-exaggeration but one would find it hard not to be intrigued with a game that has more than 17.6 million of the things.

OnLive: The next big thing?

New technology is always being researched; even as you’re reading this new developments have probably been made. At the GDC earlier this year an apparent technological breakthrough was announced for not only developers but for the consumer too. Stripping the boundaries of what we know as a conventional games console, OnLive has hit the gaming community like a whirlwind. Not only does it not have a disc drive or need any digital media, it also needs no storage at all. Why? I hear you all ask! This gaming platform is not like any other. Needing only the internet games can be streamed directly to your TV in HD... That’s right, in HD. Oh and I did say streamed!

Review: Batman: Arkham Asylum

‘It's the car, right? Chicks love the car’. Ok well it’s probably one of the best lines in one of the worst Batman movies, but it still remains a fact that we all want the car, but we won't get it in this review. Batman has been around since 1939, which makes him pretty god-damn old and he is still kicking arse today. Having spawned a hell of a lot of comics, books, films and those all important cartoons, Batman has also had a few games over the years but nothing memorable. Deep in the basement areas of the Batcave (AKA Rocksteady Studies) Batman: Arkham Asylum has been developed by people who on the basis of the game are massive fans of the character. When Andy looked at the demo, you may remember that he had concerns over the ease of the combat, linearity and whether the game would become too repetitive, thankfully these fears are all now moot as Rocksteady have truly delivered.

Review: Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust

Wanna be in a movie?! If you were asked that question what would you say?! Me personally, I would say hell yeah! That’s not why we’re here though. We’re here to talk about games but luckily the game we’re talking about takes you into the movies. Rather than sitting on the back row with a cute, sexy, beautiful woman groping your manhood (or if you’re a woman think sleazy man groping your entire body), you’re entering the world of movie making and debauchery. Where the big breasted women wear bikinis, have an IQ the equivalent to that of a peanut, and have sex with average guys like me and you because they think its a cure for cancer.

Review: X-men Origins: Wolverine

Each year we see our fair share of games based on movies, and this year is has been no exception. With the success of the previous three X-Men films, a prequel to the trilogy was added and kick-started the summer blockbuster season. This time the movie focused on the origin of one character, and you should all know by now that it was 'cleverly' titled X-Men Origins: Wolverine, in which the film took a look at our favourite claw wielding mutant. As usual with these big budget films, you expect the dreaded movie tie-in. Rather than being the bog standard drivel that you would usually expect, something slightly different came along. Developed by Raven Software (of Marvel Ultimate Alliance fame) and published by Activision, this game had a lot to live up to.

Review: Tales of Vesperia

Namco Bandai are well known for the Tekken and Soul Calibur games, along with some all time classics such as Pac Man, Galaga and Dig Dug, however these aren’t their only accomplishments. As with any good Japanese developer, they have their own stake in the RPG genre. The ‘Tales’ series of games are Japanese-RPG's that ooze style and class. They have always taken their biggest influences from anime and manga and also use popular artists to design the characters and produce the animated cut-scenes within the game. Tale of Vesperia is no different; it’s the 10th mother-ship title in the series, incorporating everything that has been done well in the previous titles, making it even better and wrapping it in a design that is beyond stunning.

Review: Star Ocean: The Last Hope

As you may know from our podcasts, Japanese RPGs have always been an obsession of mine so when I heard that the next Star Ocean was coming to the Xbox 360 as an exclusive, the title was immediately placed on pre-order. Having played a couple of the previous titles I was hoping that this prequel would live up to the name. For the next 65 hours I was to battle enemies across the ‘star ocean’ and save the earth from certain destruction. With this being the third title that Square Enix has brought to the Xbox 360 and being a 360 exclusive, this game has a lot to live up to with the various technical failings of Infinite Undiscovery and The Last Remnant. The biggest question would be: 'Is this game worthy to enter your collection? Or is it destined to stay at the store?'

How to create a gamer

Like a lot of people around the world, gaming has always been a hobby, an interest and most importantly an escape. After a year of being with my current partner I introduced an addition to our relationship; my gaming obsession. What started off as a rocky beginning passed onto something that was not expected. I did the impossible; I turned a nice, normal woman into a gamer and here is how I did it.